Ashton Wake, in dark study, holding tea.

Established 1247

Ashton Wake

Discreet International Solutions

Bespoke practitioner. Three generations. By appointment only.

Submit an Enquiry View Services
· No. 7 of an estimated population of 12 practitioners worldwide.

II — Services

A Considered Practice

Each engagement is bespoke. Pricing reflects the rarity of the practitioner, the materials required, and the strict confidentiality of the outcome. Tiers are indicative only.

Empty leather chair, still-smoking whisky and cigar.

01

Bespoke Disappearance

Both temporary and permanent variants are offered. Documentation, witness coordination, and incidental property arrangements are handled in-house.

Tier · Whisper · from £85,000 per engagement

Silhouette of figure crouched on London rooftop at dawn.

02

Roof Reconnaissance

Site survey conducted via traditional methods. Findings delivered to your study, in person, by six o'clock the following morning. Tea is provided.

Tier · Discretion · from £12,000

Katana blade being honed on a Japanese water stone.

03

Heritage Sword Sharpening

Period-authentic edging, polishing, and provenance authentication for inherited cutlery. Insurance documentation is provided in three certified copies.

Tier · Discretion · £4,500 per blade

Silhouette in the doorway of a wedding chapel mid-ceremony.

04

Wedding Disruption — Symbolic

Dramatic interruption of objectionable nuptials by visible-but-anonymous means. Discretion regarding subsequent invitations is, of course, included.

Tier · Whisper · from £45,000

Figure scaling a stone castle wall at deep twilight.

05

Castle Infiltration — Period-Authentic or Modern

Penetration testing for historic properties and high-net-worth estates. Edo-period costume is available on request and is included in the engagement fee at no additional charge.

Tier · Discretion to Whisper · pricing reflects period of authenticity

— Service withheld at the practitioner's discretion —

06

Vengeance Logistics

Counsel and operational support for matters of honour. A three-month consultation period is mandatory before any kinetic phase. We do not accept engagements arising from public sentiment, recent divorce, or shareholder disputes.

Tier · Silence · price on application · enquire in person

III — Heritage

The Wake Lineage

Oil-painted portrait of Ashton Wake the First, c. 1247.

— Ashton Wake the First — c. 1247 — oil on panel — collection of the practitioner

The Wake lineage traces to a remote mountain village in the year 1247. The village no longer exists, by professional courtesy.

The current proprietor, Ashton Wake III, is the third generation to bear the name and the seventh recorded to bear the practice. He divides his time between an undisclosed residence and wherever the work requires him to be.

The practice is not registered with any guild, chamber, or professional body, by the considered choice of the practitioner. Membership in the International Federation of Discreet Practitioners is unverifiable but, on balance, likely.

Engagements are accepted by referral only. Inquiries from law enforcement agencies will be considered with the seriousness they deserve.

IV — Counsel

A Selection of Privately Communicated Sentiments

The following remarks were transmitted privately to the practitioner. Names have been withheld at the request of the speakers, and in two cases their estates.

"Ashton solved a problem I had with my landlord. I no longer have a landlord. I no longer have a problem."
— Anonymous · Mayfair
"Three days of consultation. One night of operations. My ancestral feud, settled. Five stars."
— Lady Margarethe Holstein · Schloss Holstein-Lutowice
"I cannot in good conscience review the service publicly. Privately, however, my horse was returned with the diadem still attached."
— Lord A. · West Sussex
"Discreet. Punctual. Genuinely sorry about the goldfish."
— H.E.R.H. Princess (withheld) · Monaco

V — Press

As Considered By

VI — Enquiry

Submitting an Engagement

Enquiries are accepted by appointment only. The practitioner does not return calls. The practitioner has no website (this document is a courtesy of the office). All correspondence should be transmitted via referring counsel.

[ correspondence ]

The Office of Ashton Wake
care of referring counsel
(address withheld)

[ in person ]

Our offices do not accept walk-ins.
Our offices do not have an address.
Our offices may, in some cases, find you first.

[ secured channel ]

office@ashtonwake.com
Responses, if any, take six to twelve weeks.

Walk-ins will be observed, then redirected.